A Different View
The Leaving Cert nightmare that just keeps reliving
A Different View with Dave O’Connell
It was picking up the ton-weight school bag that brought it home to me – how could anyone ever manage to get all of those words and diagrams into the average-sized, distracted teenage brain?
Armies have gone to war with lighter kit bags; families have gone on holidays with less to weigh them down – if Ryanair did schoolbags, Michael O’Leary would have doubled his enormous wealth at the check-in desk.
You could put your back out just lifting them, never mind learning them almost off by heart so that you can regurgitate the words over the most tense three hour examination of your life.
And yet, the essence of the Leaving Cert – and Junior Cert – as they began this week is to get all of that info from the page into the head and be able to recite it back at some stage over the next two to three weeks.
I’m reminded of that great line from Oliver Goldsmith in his poem, the Village Schoolmaster.
And still they gaz’d and still the wonder grew,
That one small head could carry all he knew.
Because it’s nothing short of remarkable to attain a level of knowledge that allows you to even sit examinations in six or seven subjects to this standard, never mind to be so proficient as to aspire to something as rarefied as an ‘A’.
It goes without saying – and not for the first or last time – that the Leaving Cert is the toughest test you will ever face in an exam situation.
The notion of pouring your entire 13 or 14 years of education to date into one three-hour examination is cruel and harsh, and it can still be the stuff of nightmares long after the results make no difference at all to your daily life.
Because it only takes one mistake, a misreading of a question, a migraine, a flat tyre – any of these can conspire to throw you off your stride no matter how hard you’ve studied in the run-up to this great test.
And yet it’s hard to see a fairer way – everyone sits the same paper, everyone is externally and independently assessed and everyone has a state standard certificate with which they enter the next phase of life.
Yes, there should be more emphasis on research than learning off by rote, more weight given to extra-curricular accomplishments – from sport to drama to debating, to involvement in the community – but we are where we are.
This time of year can bring those memories of exam days come flooding back – but this time we have a Leaving and a Junior Cert in our house.
And if you thought it would help, you’d take the bullet yourself – go in and sit the examination for them to spare them the trauma and the angst and the pressure.
But in fairness to them, that wouldn’t help at all because they would like their exam results to show up with something more than D’s or E’s at best.
For more, read this week’s Connacht Tribune.
Connacht Tribune
If you don’t know who you are, the door staff have no chance
A Different View with Dave O’Connell
The only time in your life that you should ever utter the words: “Do you know who I am?” are if you’ve just had a bang on the head or you are unfortunately suffering from dementia.
Because, otherwise, the phrase ‘do you know who I am’ only serves to make things a whole lot worse.
Normally, the phrase is unleashed towards late night door staff on a wave of alcohol – and never once in the history of time has it produced the result the utterer had intended.
The doorman may well know who you are which is often the very reason you’re not getting into the place in the first instance – or if he doesn’t know who you are, he won’t be unduly influenced when he does, unless you’re a famous movie star or his long-lost cousin.
‘Do you know where I am?’ might often be closer to the phrase you’re looking for, because that would serve you well when you’re looking for a taxi.
‘Do you know who I am?’ is a threatening phrase that in truth wouldn’t frighten the cat. But if you’re anxious to dig the hole a few shovels deeper, you should follow up with ‘I’d like to speak to your manager.’
Managers can be elusive at the best of times, but they’re normally rarer than hen’s teeth when it comes to the small hours of the morning – and even if they’re there, they are most likely watching proceedings on CCTV…just so they know who you are, in case you yourself can’t remember.
‘I’d like to speak to your manager’ suggests that you and he or she are from the one social sphere which is several strata north of the one occupied by door staff.
For more, read this week’s Connacht Tribune.
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Connacht Tribune
Eurovision is just a giant party that could never cause offence
A Different View with Dave O’Connell
As it turned out, we were much closer to a Eurovision win than we could ever have imagined – not Ireland, of course, because we’ve now mastered the art of just sending cannon fodder to be blown out in the semi-final.
No, this was just two of us – myself and our eldest – who were lucky enough to be at Anfield for the Reds’ recent win over Brentford, where positioned in the seat right in front of us were four happy lads from Finland.
One of them, we now know, was Käärijä, the singer of the catchiest song at Eurovision, Cha Cha Cha.
But just a week before 7,000 people sung his catchphrase at the Eurovision Arena, he and two his mates – accompanied by an older bloke who had to be either his dad or from the national broadcaster – sat anonymously in the same corner of the lower level of Anfield’s Main Stand.
He was utterly unknown to us as well of course, and the only thing that saw him stand out was his green nail varnish. Live and let live, of course, but it still ensures that you make an impression even if it looks like you were just very late for St Patrick’s Day.
Käärijä may well be Liverpool’s greatest Scandinavian fan, although the bar for that is set fairly high, given that they invade the city in greater numbers every two weeks than the Vikings did just once during the first millennium.
Equally, he may not be a football fan at all – although, as the rest of the week proved, he sure loves a crowd.
Positioned as we were in the corner of the Main Stand, the next section to us, around the corner in the Anfield Road Stand – currently adding a top layer – was occupied by the visiting Brentford supporters.
For more, read this week’s Connacht Tribune.
Connacht Tribune Digital Edition App
Download the Connacht Tribune Digital Edition App to access to Galway’s best-selling newspaper.
Click HERE to download it for iPhone and iPad from Apple’s App Store, or HERE to get the Android Version from Google Play.
Or purchase the Digital Edition for PC, Mac or Laptop from Pagesuite HERE.
Get the Connacht Tribune Live app
The Connacht Tribune Live app is the home of everything that is happening in Galway City and county. It’s completely FREE and features all the latest news, sport and information on what’s on in your area. Click HERE to download it for iPhone and iPad from Apple’s App Store, or HERE to get the Android Version from Google Play.
Connacht Tribune
Tapping is contactless – but it’s soulless too
A Different View with Dave O’Connell
Contactless payments reached a record €17.9 billion in Ireland last year – up by 31 per cent on 2021, as people came out from under their Covid shell and appear to have left their cash behind them.
Figures from the Banking & Payments Federation found that – despite the cost-of-living increases – the Irish public made three million contactless payments a day, worth an average of €53 million in the final quarter of 2022.
Given that there are 3.8 million people in Ireland over the age of 18, that means that almost every single one of us tapped the card every day last year.
And again, on the presumption that there are a few who still prefer peeling a fifty off a wad of notes, the true figure may be even higher, as we eschew actual money every time we go into a restaurant, bar or shop.
Then comes the monthly morning of reckoning when you open your statement – electronic of course because, like paper money, banks don’t deal in paper statements anymore either – and your guilty secrets unfurl like a rap sheet before your very eyes.
Five taps of a Friday night in the local, followed by a five-ounce burger meal on the way home.
And just why did you need a family-pack of crisps when a small bag would have done? Was all that beer and wine really for a party, or a night in just for one?
Cash provided plenty of dark corners to ignore your profligacy, but there are no hiding places in the contactless world.
Worse still, until that morning of reckoning arrives, you’ve no clue how much you’ve spent, and handing over the card doesn’t hurt half as much as parting with hard cash.
For more, read this week’s Connacht Tribune.
Connacht Tribune Digital Edition App
Download the Connacht Tribune Digital Edition App to access to Galway’s best-selling newspaper.
Click HERE to download it for iPhone and iPad from Apple’s App Store, or HERE to get the Android Version from Google Play.
Or purchase the Digital Edition for PC, Mac or Laptop from Pagesuite HERE.
Get the Connacht Tribune Live app
The Connacht Tribune Live app is the home of everything that is happening in Galway City and county. It’s completely FREE and features all the latest news, sport and information on what’s on in your area. Click HERE to download it for iPhone and iPad from Apple’s App Store, or HERE to get the Android Version from Google Play.