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Parents who live in fear of violent and abusive kids

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Debbie McDonagh of the Western Region Drug and Alcohol Task Force, Regional Family Support Co-ordinator, with the Family Support Handbook launched recently. Photo: Iain McDonald.

Lifestyle – Dearbhla Geraghty attended the Child to Parent Violence Seminar in Galway and heard of a growing prevalence of the issue

Parents are living in fear of violence and abuse at the hands of their own children – which has seen a massive increase, with incidents in Galway now in line with those on an international level.

The Child to Parent Violence Seminar, held in the Menlo Park Hotel last week, was one of a number of events organised by the Western Region Drug & Alcohol Task Force for its annual awareness week.

“There is a difference between childhood testing of boundaries – that is totally normal,” says Eileen Lauster, trainer on the NVR (Non-Violent Resistance) programme.

“The difference is the power – manipulation, abuse, where parents feel afraid in their own homes; when they don’t feel in charge any more, and the child is coercing, controlling, and dominating. The child can also be abusive towards siblings.”

She describes this as “an emerging problem” for families and practitioners, not helped by the fact that many parents/guardians deny or minimise the issue, or blame themselves – leaving them in a very isolated place.

Ms Lauster drew comparisons to 10-15 years ago, when domestic violence was a taboo subject, but asking a person if they felt safe at home was often enough to encourage them to speak about it – the same applies to professionals approaching parents who are subjected to violence at the hands of their own children.

She says that they are reluctant to talk about the issue until it reaches unbearable levels, due to a strong impulse to protect their child from coming to the attention of Gardaí or the health services.

For this reason, the statistics underestimate the actual numbers involved – figures from the UK suggest that this type of violence affects 18% of two-parent families, and 29% of one-parent families (similarly reflective of the situation here in Galway).

“Bear in mind, that parents are very desperate when they do actually call the police,” Ms Lauster added.

And, most interestingly, this is not a class-related issue – it affects all socio-economic and cultural groups, although mothers parenting alone are more susceptible.

“There are well-educated, middle class parents with ‘over-entitled’ children – spoilt – and they would have been told ‘yes, yes, yes’ to everything, but when they hit the age when their parent says ‘no’, they become manipulative and abusive.”

One delegate revealed that she dealt with so-called ‘out of control’ teenagers in Mayo, and that the majority of cases occur in ‘over-indulgent’ two-parent families.

NUI Galway lecturer, Dr Declan Coogan, began making efforts to address this issue in Ireland eight years ago, but found that this country was far behind Spain, which includes it in its legislation and has specific social services for this area.

One of his earliest cases here involved a 14 years old girl who was drinking, using drugs, going missing for long periods, and being aggressive towards her parents and siblings.

“Sinead and her mother went through the NVR programme; they had their blow-ups, but by the end of the process it was completely diminished, there was less abuse, and the mother had taken more control in the relationship, which benefited the whole family,” Ms Lauster said.

“The problem of violence in the family is openly talked about, and denial and minimisation are no longer issues, and the parent’s sense of isolation is reduced.

For more, read this week’s Connacht Tribune.

 

Connacht Tribune

West has lower cancer survival rates than rest

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Significant state investment is required to address ‘shocking’ inequalities that leave cancer patients in the West at greater risk of succumbing to the disease.

A meeting of Regional Health Forum West heard that survival rates for breast, lung and colorectal cancers than the national average, and with the most deprived quintile of the population, the West’s residents faced poorer outcomes from a cancer diagnosis.

For breast cancer patients, the five-year survival rate was 80% in the West versus 85% nationally; for lung cancer patients it was 16.7% in the west against a 19.5% national survival rate; and in the West’s colorectal cancer patients, there was a 62.6% survival rate where the national average was 63.1%.

These startling statistics were provided in answer to a question from Ballinasloe-based Cllr Evelyn Parsons (Ind) who said it was yet another reminder that cancer treatment infrastructure in the West was in dire need of improvement.

“The situation is pretty stark. In the Western Regional Health Forum area, we have the highest incidence of deprivation and the highest health inequalities because of that – we have the highest incidences of cancer nationally because of that,” said Cllr Parsons, who is also a general practitioner.

In details provided by CEO of Saolta Health Care Group, which operates Galway’s hospitals, it was stated that a number of factors were impacting on patient outcomes.

Get the full story in this week’s Connacht Tribune, on sale in shops now, or you can download the digital edition from www.connachttribune.ie. You can also download our Connacht Tribune App from Apple’s App Store or get the Android Version from Google Play.

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Connacht Tribune

Marathon Man plans to call a halt – but not before he hits 160 races

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Loughrea’s Marathon Man Jarlath Fitzgerald.

On the eve of completing his 150th marathon, an odyssey that has taken him across 53 countries, Loughrea’s Marathon Man has announced that he is planning to hang up his running shoes.

But not before Jarlath Fitzgerald completes another ten races, making it 160 marathons on the occasion of his 60th birthday.

“I want to draw the line in 2026. I turn 57 in October and when I reach 60 it’s the finishing line. The longer races are taking it out of me. I did 20 miles there two weeks ago and didn’t feel good. It’s getting harder,” he reveals.

“I’ve arthritis in both hips and there’s wear and tear in the knees.”

We speak as he is about to head out for a run before his shift in Supervalu Loughrea. Despite his physical complaints, he still clocks up 30 miles every second week and generally runs four days a week.

Jarlath receives injections to his left hip to keep the pain at bay while running on the road.

To give his joints a break, during the winter he runs cross country and often does a five-mile trek around Kylebrack Wood.

He is planning on running his 150th marathon in Cork on June 4, where a group of 20 made up of work colleagues, friends and running mates from Loughrea Athletics Club will join him.

Some are doing the 10k, others are doing the half marathon, but all will be there on the finishing line to cheer him on in the phenomenal achievement.

Get the full story in this week’s Connacht Tribune, on sale in shops now, or you can download the digital edition from www.connachttribune.ie. You can also download our Connacht Tribune App from Apple’s App Store or get the Android Version from Google Play.

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CITY TRIBUNE

Galway ‘masterplan’ needed to tackle housing and transport crises

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From the Galway City Tribune – An impassioned plea for a ‘masterplan’ that would guide Galway City into the future has been made in the Dáil. Galway West TD Catherine Connolly stated this week that there needed to be an all-inclusive approach with “vision and leadership” in order to build a sustainable city.

Deputy Connolly spoke at length at the crisis surrounding traffic and housing in Galway city and said that not all of the blame could be laid at the door of the local authority.

She said that her preference would be the provision of light rail as the main form of public transport, but that this would have to be driven by the government.

“I sat on the local council for 17 years and despaired at all of the solutions going down one road, metaphorically and literally. In 2005 we put Park & Ride into the development plan, but that has not been rolled out. A 2016 transport strategy was outdated at the time and still has not been updated.

“Due to the housing crisis in the city, a task force was set up in 2019. Not a single report or analysis has been published on the cause of the crisis,” added Deputy Connolly.

She then referred to a report from the Land Development Agency (LDA) that identified lands suitable for the provision of housing. But she said that two-thirds of these had significant problems and a large portion was in Merlin Park University Hospital which, she said, would never have housing built on it.

In response, Minister Simon Harris spoke of the continuing job investment in the city and also in higher education, which is his portfolio.

But turning his attention to traffic congestion, he accepted that there were “real issues” when it came to transport, mobility and accessibility around Galway.

“We share the view that we need a Park & Ride facility and I understand there are also Bus Connects plans.

“I also suggest that the City Council reflect on her comments. I am proud to be in a Government that is providing unparalleled levels of investment to local authorities and unparalleled opportunities for local authorities to draw down,” he said.

Then Minister Harris referred to the controversial Galway City Outer Ring Road which he said was “struck down by An Bord Pleanála”, despite a lot of energy having been put into that project.

However, Deputy Connolly picked up on this and pointed out that An Bord Pleanála did not say ‘No’ to the ring road.

“The High Court said ‘No’ to the ring road because An Bord Pleanála acknowledged it failed utterly to consider climate change and our climate change obligations.

“That tells us something about An Bord Pleanála and the management that submitted such a plan.”

In the end, Minister Harris agreed that there needed to be a masterplan for Galway City.

“I suggest it is for the local authority to come up with a vision and then work with the Government to try to fund and implement that.”

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