A Different View
Going with your parents is the holiday from hell
You know, of course, that your children love you, but as the years go by, it’s no longer unconditional – it’s a love from a safe distance, because they no longer want to be in the same space as you.
Most of the time they can tolerate being under the same roof, but ideally not in the same room unless there’s football on the telly and there’s no other way of seeing it.
And then there’s their idea of hell – a family holiday where there’s no escape from you night or day. You quickly learn not to take it personally of course, because the sad reality is that you’re the real problem; you embarrass them by wearing shorts, or sandals with socks, or tattered old tee-shirts that urge foreigners to kiss you just because you’re Irish.
And it only seems like yesterday they didn’t seem to mind of this at all, but back then they saw the world through more innocent eyes – and they thought you were great even when you weren’t.
They sang songs with you from the back of the car on long journeys and, when you ran out of tunes or voice or both, they were content to count all the red cars out through the window.
They were also small enough to sleep in the back – but these days they’re blessed with the sort of angular limbs that fold like they’ve fallen off a roof. Anyway the notion of sitting up straight isn’t an option when you can easily slouch instead.
They might still sing songs in the car, but it’s because they’re accompanying the tune on their iPod – so the only version the rest get to hear is the one without all of the words and in a different key.
There may be scenery on either side if you look out the window, but the video or game on their tablet is a better option every time. It’s enough of a sacrifice that you’ve torn them away from their wi-fi connection, but they’re not going any further back into the dark ages by actually making conversation.
Then you look at it from their perspective – and first we’ll deal with the driving holiday.
Parents are old people; they’re not fun and they have no sense of direction. And when they lose their way – as they always do – they fight. It used to be worse, of course, when you had to rely on maps and the only way you could read them was to unfold them and in the process block the entire front window. But even with GPS, it’s no picnic, not least when you have a third party in the row – the guy with the plumy voice on the sat nav who’s sending you in the wrong direction.
Then there’s taste – parents like RTÉ chat shows, kids want music that parents don’t consider music at all. Parents like to stop at tourist attractions – castles, vineyards, churches, museums – while youngsters only want to stop to shop or eat.
If you’re on a flight, they’d prefer not to sit beside you but even more so they’d prefer not to have to sit beside any of their siblings. And they don’t want the nice looking air hostess to know they’re going on holidays with their parents.
If it’s a sun holiday, the hormones enter the equation and any self-respecting teenager’s worst nightmare is to be chatting up a member of the opposite sex only to see their Mammy making a bee-line for them so they can be introduced to ‘your new friend’. The solution – not that it really is one – is to allow them on a long leash.
For more of Dave’s observations on holidays with the family see this week’s Tribune
A Different View with Dave O’Connell
The only time in your life that you should ever utter the words: “Do you know who I am?” are if you’ve just had a bang on the head or you are unfortunately suffering from dementia.
Because, otherwise, the phrase ‘do you know who I am’ only serves to make things a whole lot worse.
Normally, the phrase is unleashed towards late night door staff on a wave of alcohol – and never once in the history of time has it produced the result the utterer had intended.
The doorman may well know who you are which is often the very reason you’re not getting into the place in the first instance – or if he doesn’t know who you are, he won’t be unduly influenced when he does, unless you’re a famous movie star or his long-lost cousin.
‘Do you know where I am?’ might often be closer to the phrase you’re looking for, because that would serve you well when you’re looking for a taxi.
‘Do you know who I am?’ is a threatening phrase that in truth wouldn’t frighten the cat. But if you’re anxious to dig the hole a few shovels deeper, you should follow up with ‘I’d like to speak to your manager.’
Managers can be elusive at the best of times, but they’re normally rarer than hen’s teeth when it comes to the small hours of the morning – and even if they’re there, they are most likely watching proceedings on CCTV…just so they know who you are, in case you yourself can’t remember.
‘I’d like to speak to your manager’ suggests that you and he or she are from the one social sphere which is several strata north of the one occupied by door staff.
For more, read this week’s Connacht Tribune.
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A Different View with Dave O’Connell
As it turned out, we were much closer to a Eurovision win than we could ever have imagined – not Ireland, of course, because we’ve now mastered the art of just sending cannon fodder to be blown out in the semi-final.
No, this was just two of us – myself and our eldest – who were lucky enough to be at Anfield for the Reds’ recent win over Brentford, where positioned in the seat right in front of us were four happy lads from Finland.
One of them, we now know, was Käärijä, the singer of the catchiest song at Eurovision, Cha Cha Cha.
But just a week before 7,000 people sung his catchphrase at the Eurovision Arena, he and two his mates – accompanied by an older bloke who had to be either his dad or from the national broadcaster – sat anonymously in the same corner of the lower level of Anfield’s Main Stand.
He was utterly unknown to us as well of course, and the only thing that saw him stand out was his green nail varnish. Live and let live, of course, but it still ensures that you make an impression even if it looks like you were just very late for St Patrick’s Day.
Käärijä may well be Liverpool’s greatest Scandinavian fan, although the bar for that is set fairly high, given that they invade the city in greater numbers every two weeks than the Vikings did just once during the first millennium.
Equally, he may not be a football fan at all – although, as the rest of the week proved, he sure loves a crowd.
Positioned as we were in the corner of the Main Stand, the next section to us, around the corner in the Anfield Road Stand – currently adding a top layer – was occupied by the visiting Brentford supporters.
For more, read this week’s Connacht Tribune.
Connacht Tribune Digital Edition App
Download the Connacht Tribune Digital Edition App to access to Galway’s best-selling newspaper.
Click HERE to download it for iPhone and iPad from Apple’s App Store, or HERE to get the Android Version from Google Play.
Or purchase the Digital Edition for PC, Mac or Laptop from Pagesuite HERE.
Get the Connacht Tribune Live app
The Connacht Tribune Live app is the home of everything that is happening in Galway City and county. It’s completely FREE and features all the latest news, sport and information on what’s on in your area. Click HERE to download it for iPhone and iPad from Apple’s App Store, or HERE to get the Android Version from Google Play.
A Different View with Dave O’Connell
Contactless payments reached a record €17.9 billion in Ireland last year – up by 31 per cent on 2021, as people came out from under their Covid shell and appear to have left their cash behind them.
Figures from the Banking & Payments Federation found that – despite the cost-of-living increases – the Irish public made three million contactless payments a day, worth an average of €53 million in the final quarter of 2022.
Given that there are 3.8 million people in Ireland over the age of 18, that means that almost every single one of us tapped the card every day last year.
And again, on the presumption that there are a few who still prefer peeling a fifty off a wad of notes, the true figure may be even higher, as we eschew actual money every time we go into a restaurant, bar or shop.
Then comes the monthly morning of reckoning when you open your statement – electronic of course because, like paper money, banks don’t deal in paper statements anymore either – and your guilty secrets unfurl like a rap sheet before your very eyes.
Five taps of a Friday night in the local, followed by a five-ounce burger meal on the way home.
And just why did you need a family-pack of crisps when a small bag would have done? Was all that beer and wine really for a party, or a night in just for one?
Cash provided plenty of dark corners to ignore your profligacy, but there are no hiding places in the contactless world.
Worse still, until that morning of reckoning arrives, you’ve no clue how much you’ve spent, and handing over the card doesn’t hurt half as much as parting with hard cash.
For more, read this week’s Connacht Tribune.
Connacht Tribune Digital Edition App
Download the Connacht Tribune Digital Edition App to access to Galway’s best-selling newspaper.
Click HERE to download it for iPhone and iPad from Apple’s App Store, or HERE to get the Android Version from Google Play.
Or purchase the Digital Edition for PC, Mac or Laptop from Pagesuite HERE.
Get the Connacht Tribune Live app
The Connacht Tribune Live app is the home of everything that is happening in Galway City and county. It’s completely FREE and features all the latest news, sport and information on what’s on in your area. Click HERE to download it for iPhone and iPad from Apple’s App Store, or HERE to get the Android Version from Google Play.
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