City Lives
Wise Ivan is a role model for people ‘coming out’ gay
There are few 21-year-olds as outspoken and focused as Ivan Fahy, but this young man wants to be role model, wants to help others to not be afraid to be themselves.
It is hard to believe that it is still difficult for some people to ‘come out’ about their sexuality in this day and age but according to Ivan, that sadly is the case.
Ivan himself never had to ‘come out’ as such.
“It was a matter of just confirming it to my family. I was always very comfortable with who I am but I understand how others may not be so lucky,” he says. T
he coming week is a pivotal one for anyone who is gay in Galway as it is the 25th anniversary of the first Gay Pride parade in the city.
Ivan wasn’t even born when the first parade was held, but he knows that only a handful of people took part, compared to thousands expected on Saturday, August 23, the second last day of the week-long festival.
He is naturally excited about the parade itself, as he loves clothes and fashion and works hard at being an androgynous model.
And while it will be a social highlight for Ivan and many others, for many more it will be the only opportunity they will have this year to have a public platform where they can be themselves. They will dress as they please, but to protect their privacy will probably wear masks.
There will be no such mask for Ivan, who wears his heart on his sleeves, and admits to talking too much with an opinion on almost everything. Ivan stands tall at six feet two (“taller in my heels” he laughs), is of a slim build, has beautiful skin on a perfectly proportioned face. And his legs aren’t bad either, he will tell you himself.
He doesn’t drink or smoke and believes people who drink or take drugs make a lifestyle choice. It was one he never made or needed to make. He was probably a precocious child who was reared in a supportive home where he was allowed to be himself.
“I was always self-assured. . . I don’t know where I got the confidence but I always seemed to have it. I never felt the need to come out to my family and friends. It was a matter of confirming it while I was 13.
“I came out to myself first but not to others. I spent a long time loving myself and accepting who I was,” he says. He appreciates that he is one of the lucky ones, which is why he is all the more determined to be a role model for others, to help then by his own openness, by him being ‘out there’ with his edgy model poses on his social media accounts.
Does he worry about over-exposure, about his own privacy? “If I wasn’t doing this, I would be hiding. I have always known I was capable of doing my own thing.”
At secondary school in St Enda’s in Salthill, he doesn’t remember any particular bullying. He always had a good circle of friends and probably escaped the bullying a teenage gay boy might expect because of his own self-confidence.
“I have always been confident in my own skin. We have made progress (in Ireland) with sexuality but not really with gender issues.” Ivan is too intelligent and well educated to be rude or impatient with others who are not up to speed on gender issues. His approach is more ‘disarm by charm’ but at the same time he is not afraid to challenge people on their attitudes or language.