Will the Snapper’s new car compare to Damo the Demio?

Double Vision with Charlie Adley

It’s a bit ugly!” complained the Snapper, looking at the Mazda Demio. Up to that point I’d barely considered the aesthetics of the car. All I knew was that Paddy had once again pulled off a minor miracle, finding an excellent car for my missus.

Although it was nine years old, it had incredibly low mileage, and better still the timing belt had been replaced. Boring details maybe, but to this testicular mind, vital and pleasing information.

Still, I’m far from blind to beauty, so I stepped back and looked at the motor. Hmm, yeh, could see what she meant. It was sort of SUV-shaped, but it looked like someone had washed it and put it in the tumble dryer, whereby it had shrunk by a third.

Being a protective soul I was more interested in the way the car drove. Its brakes and suspension were top notch, the gentle kick in the small of my back when I put the pedal down in 5th gear reassuring me that the low mileage was kosher. This was a young engine, and even better: it was a Mazda engine.

“The last Mazda with a Mazda engine!” That’s what Paddy declared, knowing that after many years driving Betsy the Blue Bubble, I am very much a fan of Mazda engines.

I’ve never had a car with an engine like that. Thankfully I’ve driven both more powerful and faster cars, because the Snapper had been right in her assertion, when she first saw Betsy, that it was “a girl’s car”.

Didn’t bother me in the least (well, maybe a tiny bit!) because I knew what a great car Betsy was. I drove to all four corners of this island in that car and never saw the oil on the dipstick looking anything other than sparkly translucent. Betsy’s engine was so clean, I wondered if there might be something wrong with it, but no.

She was so reliable, like this Demio, in great nick, safe and being offered at a very affordable price.

However, as you know yourself, relationships are something of a tightrope walk on occasion. If she’s worried about how it looks, I might as well respect that and somehow impress upon her that other factors are more important.

“Hmm, yeh love, see what you mean. She’s not exactly a thing of beauty, is she?” And then a moment of genius: “Or is it a ‘he’?”

“Don’t know if it’s a he or she, but I think it’s a bit ugly, that’s all.”

She took it for a test drive and remained quiet and surprisingly unexcited at the prospect of having her own car for the first time.

I had a word in Paddy’s ear, thanking him profusely for coming up with such excellent goods and asking him to be patient for a few days. We were going to buy it, I reassured him, but the moment had to be right.

He nodded and gave me an understanding smile.

To read Charlie’s full column, please see this week’s Galway City Tribune.