Double Vision
What did we do on hols? We sat on the terrace!
Double Vision with Charlie Adley
Don’t fancy these roads at night, babe!” The Snapper is clutching the sheet of very precise directions sent to us by local man Juan, who’s renting us a villa. The car blocking our way is now reversing away from us, expertly finding a tiny recess in this rural Mallorcan side road.
Driving a rental car is always slightly nerve-wracking because of the exorbitant charges they slap on you for damaging the vehicle in any way. This Renault drives beautifully, but looks a heck of a lot like an over-inflated balloon.
Now I’m squeezing between the other car on one side and the concrete ditch that offers a four foot vertical drop on the other. These ditches run along all these tiny roads, some sporting little brick lips, which might at least give a warning that your car is about to disappear into a void.
“I know what you mean!” agrees the Snapper, “In the dark you’d have no idea where the ditches were!”
“We can go out for lunches instead.”
“Splendid! Turn sharp left 125 metres after a tall telegraph pole painted with red and white stripes.”
Very precise directions indeed, which is just as well, as our holiday home is beyond the black stump.
I’d spoken to Juan on the phone and he said the villa was close to other villas, only 6km from the old town of Pollença. I’d imagined a semi-suburban estate with purpose-built self-catering “villas” scattered around freshly-landscaped hills. To my delight, when we finally find the place, I discover I couldn’t have been more wrong.
There’s no need for those “quotation marks” around the word “villa”. This is a proper villa, the kind in which local families live. Surrounded by a bowl of mountains we’re in a vale of almond groves, with cypress trees and terracotta tiled roofs poking through the greenery here and there.
For once the picture on the internet proves to be unworthy in a good way. You expect the brochure shot to be slightly misleading, and as we’ve stayed in self-catering places before, we expected a tiny place.
How wonderful it is to find that you’ve far more than you could have hoped for.
“Wow!” cries my beloved, as we wander past the pool and barbeque area, our eyes catching glimpses of dozens of different mountain views, appearing between palm fronds.
“Is this ours? Wow!”
In the past we’ve only ever holidayed in places within walking distance of restaurants and shops, but that past is now so distant, I figured all we needed this time was to collapse. It’s been three years since we had a proper holiday and last Autumn both of us started to become unwell, falling apart from the relentless duty of it all.
Many consider trips away to be something of a trial to a relationship, but the Snapper and I holiday well together. Armed with a book for each day of the stay, a glass of white wine and a sun lounger, she is very happy to avoid people, because she works with the public.
To read Charlie’s column in full, please see this week’s Galway City Tribune.
A Different View with Dave O’Connell
The crowds that flocked into the centre of Dublin last weekend provided the clearest indication yet that, thank God, a cure had been found for Covid.
The masses dancing and hugging on the streets was vindication that all of the self-isolation had been well worth it, when you could now congregate as close as you like to each other, to your little heart’s content.
Or so you’d think.
One weekend of slightly relaxed licencing laws was all it took, and in the blink of an eye thousands of revellers were up and at it like this was Paris in 1945 after it was freed from the Germans.
The newly-imposed regulations for relaxation would suggest that all of these bouncy people at least had the benefit of a nine-euro meal inside them – how else could they get served?
So, we’d better brace ourselves for when they go out on an empty stomach.
Much has already been made of the fact that pub life will never be the same again – and that might well be the case.
Social distancing is bad news for the publicans, limiting their ability to wedge the entire student population of NUIG and GMIT into the equivalent of a phone box.
But it’s great news for curmudgeons – particularly for those whose capacity for imbibing alcohol is shot.
Advancing middle age has seen the tolerance of the early twenties reduced from the equivalent of a sizeable plastic bucket to an amount that once wouldn’t have even pass the standard definition of being out.
Three pints? That’s what you’d order when they rang the bell at closing time.
For more, read this week’s Connacht Tribune.
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Double Vision with Charlie Adley
More than any other time of the year, when we sit around our dinner tables on Christmas Day, we are aware of who is there and who is not. At the age of 17, having performed impressive acrobatics with my Yamaha 250, a saloon car, a ditch and a barbed wire fence, I spent six weeks in hospital over Christmas and New Year.
My femur was snapped in two, which is no mean feat with thighs like mine, and my tibia had a crack or two as well.
Bed-bound, with my leg in traction, I developed a bronchial chest infection after an emergency operation.
Every two seconds for six weeks I coughed in hacking spasms, thus shaking my smashed leg, which was hung in a sling, supported by a metal pole they had driven through me, just below the knee.
Suffice to say I came to terms with pain.
In our part of the ward, there were four beds and three bikers with broken bones.
There was Kev, who had fallen off his sleek and mean Suzuki GT750 (a two stroke 3-into-1, since you ask), and opposite us two was brick shithouse Yorkshireman Gary, ex-SAS, and mighty embarrassed, having survived several covert tours of duty in Northern Ireland, to have to admit to falling off a Honda 125.
Compared to the other patients in the hospital the three of us were well off.
We were not sick. We’d had our operations, and apart from antibiotics for wounds, and pain killers for broken bones, we needed very little medical attention.
We were young, male, bored, and allowed to drink beer. Naturally, we tried to attract the attention of the student nurses as much as possible, and equally, they were happy to have a bit of a laugh with lads who were not ill, physically, at least!
For more, read this week’s Galway City Tribune.
Get the Connacht Tribune Live app
The Connacht Tribune Live app is the home of everything that is happening in Galway City and county. It’s completely FREE and features all the latest news, sport and information on what’s on in your area. Click HERE to download it for iPhone and iPad from Apple’s App Store, or HERE to get the Android Version from Google Play.
Double Vision with Charlie Adley
Saying “I love newspapers!” feels these days like buying a ticket for the next David Bowie gig, but I do: I love them. When I read a newspaper, I’m not a slave to the algorithm. Were I ten years younger, I’d read all my news online, on apps that I’ve set to my personal preferences.
Even when I visit media sites I’ve never been to before, there are cookies and bots and gordknowswot working away to offer me more of what the algorithms think I want.
Every link off each page is tailored to please me, but that’s no good.
I don’t want to be fed things that only fit into my areas of interest and opinion.
Sitting at my living room table, mug of tea and two slices of toast (peanut butter, since you ask), and a paper – any paper – open in front of me, I can see the full wonder and horror of the world, as interpreted by The Guardian, The Daily Mail, The Irish Times or Daily Mirror.
As I browse into the heart of the paper, far from major news items, I let my eyesight fall all over the place, because each page is full of varied items, and, here on page 14, I’ll find the big story that’s being buried: the story they have to report, but are under instruction to dampen down.
Also here are stories that no algorithm-driven link would ever lead me to. Quirky little tales, able to dissolve an adult brain in seconds.
When driven sufficiently doolally by what I’m reading, I tear that particular piece of madness out of the newspaper, placing it on top of the wobbly towering stack of other torn madnesses by my desk.
There are dark torn madnesses and fearsome ones, but today I’m in the mood to prowl the ones that force me to furrow my brow, gasp for breath, pout my lips and grunt “What the -?” at the universe.
Notes are seeds, from which every writer will grow different fruit. When that writer is working for the Daily Mail, the fruit need bear only minuscule relation to the seed.
To read Charlie’s column in full, please see this week’s Galway City Tribune.
Get the Connacht Tribune Live app
The Connacht Tribune Live app is the home of everything that is happening in Galway City and county. It’s completely FREE and features all the latest news, sport and information on what’s on in your area. Click HERE to download it for iPhone and iPad from Apple’s App Store, or HERE to get the Android Version from Google Play.
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