Time for sport to cultivate the sound of silence on the sideline

A Different View

There are few more unedifying sights than that of a large red-faced father shouting abuse at the referee in a schoolboy soccer match – and I say that as someone who would know this by simply looking into a mirror.

Calling into question the parentage of a man who has the patience and generosity of heart to spend a couple of hours trying to steer young fellas through the rudiments of sport isn’t just undignified; it’s ridiculous.

That’s not to say that all referees – in any sport – are paragons of virtue; some are vindictive little men who must have failed the test for a traffic warden. But the vast majority of them are decent people just giving a little back to a game they love.

So when the parents on the sideline go into full fit, it serves no purpose other than to embarrass their children and give the rest of the team at laugh at the big eejit.

Whatever about the referee – who at least has grown to full adulthood – shouting abuse from the sideline can only have a hugely detrimental effect on young kids.

And this is for two reasons – firstly, they are embarrassed by their father’s idiocy and they are either put off their game or give up the game altogether . . . or else they think that sort of carry-on is acceptable behaviour and repeat it themselves.

I’ve known boys – and I’m sure this could equally apply to girls, but my experience is limited by the fact we have no daughters – who have shone like a beacon when their parents aren’t berating the referee, the opposition (and even sometimes their own sons) but who cower into their shell when an animated parent turns up.

Not for them the sense that taking part is what counts; nothing short of complete victory will sate the taste for sporting blood.

And, like drivers who change from angels to devils as soon as they get behind the wheel, so too these aggressive parents are invariably the quietest little lambs once the red mist disappears.

Again, from personal experience, you don’t feel remotely proud of yourself in the cold light of day – but that’s not good enough.

■ For the full Different View Column, see this week’s Connacht Tribune.