Ten Commandments to help us reach the Promised Land

Country Living with Francis Farragher

Most of us normal mortals have all the dos and don’ts of the current coronavirus emergency off by heart at this stage and as we enter the second month of the crisis, I have made an effort to compile a ‘not-too-serious’ list of 10 don’ts (Commandments) to bear in mind over the coming weeks . . .  and probably months I’d say.

1: Please to all my friends and acquaintances, don’t send me any more social media videos of a well-known lager slowly filling up a pint glass with a perfect mix of effervescence and a creamy head, all happening to the music of: “When will I see you again?” My withdrawal symptoms are bad enough and I’m afraid I do miss my local watering hole for its mix of gossip, chat, debate, the game of 25, the odd song and of course that first slug of a frothy pint. (Oh God, I’m fantasising again).

2: Don’t under any circumstances listen to more than one version of the 6pm or 9pm news on RTE 1, and even then, feel free after the first five or 10 minutes of coverage to move to something a lot lighter. The other night, I switched to an episode of Dad’s Army where Captain Mainwaring unintentionally gets airborne in his efforts to tie down a hot-air balloon that attracted the attention of his Home Guard platoon. Excuse the pun, but an uplifting experience. Even in bad times, it would make a cat laugh.

3: Don’t be tempted after looking at your phone to check out all the latest updates on the virus, to share the details with all your colleagues in an ‘uncrowded room’ that you might be sharing with them. They may have decided that they’re in a ‘detox’ period’ of Covid-19 news and the last thing they need in their period of abstinence is a blow-by-blow account of the number of new cases across the world and how we’ll all be in lockdown for the Summer. Just count to ten, and think of something else to say!

4: Don’t – based on personal experience – be tempted to go ‘under the covers’ at around 8pm and end up waking at around 4am with nothing to do only to make vain efforts at returning back to sleep. It’s bad enough in these times with the days feeling twice as long as normal, but when the nights start to linger interminably, then there’s a bit of a personal crisis to be faced up. A resumption of ‘a book read’ at 4am can be a bit alien to the culture, but at least it passes an hour or two.

For more, read this week’s Connacht Tribune.

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