Spotting the signs of domestic abuse

It can be hard to know what to do if you suspect a woman you know – neighbour, family member, colleague or friend – is the victim of domestic abuse. You want to intervene but that old fashioned thing of ‘between them it is’ might hold you back.

“I wouldn’t encourage anyone to interfere directly, getting into the middle of it. Because you may very well cause more trouble for the woman and put yourself at risk,” explained Carol Baumann, Head of Domestic Abuse for Cope Galway.

“But be alert to it, find an opportunity when she’s alone, and being very gentle and very open, say, ‘Is everything okay, is there anything I can do’

“Be prepared to be rebuffed. That’s okay. The point of it is she’ll know you will have noticed. What you can’t do is force her or push her or punish her – that will only make it harder.”

Telling her not to bring her partner to your home again isn’t helpful either.

“What happens then is she doesn’t come any more and that’s another support then gone out of her life. Our advice to potential onlookers is keep the channel of communication open, don’t push the woman, don’t challenge her in front of the partner, don’t challenge him, ask her what she wants and what you can do for her.

“If she confides in you, that there is something not quite right but she can’t name it, then I’d suggest asking could you make a call to us, or suggest she makes a call to us herself, and we’ll take it from there,” said Ms Baumann.

Read the full story in this week’s Connacht Tribune – on sale in shops from this Wednesday. Or you can download the digital edition from www.connachttribune.ie