Date Published: 10-May-2011

If you dropped in from outer space into an Irish living room on a weekday afternoon and you tuned into the national television station to get a fix on what floats this land’s boat, you’d be mistaken to think it was in fact Little Britain.

Because it’s full of programmes about people like Pru and Monty building their massive new homes in the shires or chavs called Debs or Shirley having their toilets and work surfaces dissected by an abominable woman called Aggie.

Welcome to the world of the repeat, otherwise known as RTE’s afternoon schedule and a phenomenon normally lost on those of us lucky enough to be gainfully employed.

These aren’t just repeats; they come from the dark ages of repeat programming – otherwise known as a time when Grand Designs’ Kevin McCloud had hair.

Of course TV3 is no better although they have the very legitimate excuse that they are not in receipt of taxpayers’ money. And even then they at least go to the bother of making their own version of daytime chat shows, with Ireland AM, the Mid-Morning Show and Midday.

Last Thursday for example Midday had Philomena Lynott on as a guest as they discussed adoption from the perspective of both the mother – natural and adoptive – and the child.

Now there’s very little of Philomena’s story left to tell – certainly not since she took to the chat show circuit to promote her book on her son Phil – but presenter Elaine Crowley steered her away from the Thin Lizzy frontman and onto more stories about the other two children she also gave up for adoption.

She talked of the appalling abuse she was subjected to after giving birth to a black baby – her own term – because even in the convent for unmarried mothers there was a hierarchy when it came to degrees of shame.

She talked of meeting with her other birth son and daughter in later life and enjoying a fulfilling relationship with them both – and that was far more fascinating than another story about Philo.

But then TV3 goes for the Oprah Winfrey Show or Come Dine With Me or the Jeremy Kyle Show or some rubbish that was bad enough first time round without subjecting a trapped viewership to it all over again.

RTE has its own afternoon magazine stuff too with the truly mind-numbing Daily Show leaving you without the will to live long before Maura Derrane even comes on to rescue the whole thing.

But they seem to have a bottomless pit of old British TV tat to dust off every hour, with Grand Designs – already available to fans all day long on Home if you have Sky or every evening on E4 if you don’t – How Clean is Your Home, Doctors or Aussie soaps like Neighbours or Shortland Street.

For more, read this week’s Connacht Sentinel.