Providing comfort amid grief of stillbirth

Lifestyle –  Judy Murphy meets a young Galway couple who treasure the memories of their stillborn son

A cuddle cot. It sounds like a lovely device and it serves a fantastic purpose – but it’s something no parent would ever want to use. It’s a Moses basket, with a cooling unit at the bottom, and it provides an incomparable service when a child dies before or at birth.

Eanna and Teresa Daly from Colmanstown first encountered a cuddle cot last October when the tragic loss of their first child was made easier by the stillbirth and neonatal charity, Féileacáin.

This lovely, vibrant pair who got married in August 2014, were 32 weeks pregnant with their first child when they got news that no expectant parent wants to hear.

A routine scan at Portiuncula Hospital in early September picked up a potential problem. Teresa was referred to UHG for more extensive scans, under the care of gynaecology professor John Morrison, who diagnosed fluid on the baby’s brain.

That marked the beginning of a rollercoaster journey for Teresa and Eanna who had met each other in Medtronic where they both work.

“Sometimes a baby can have fluid and it goes away,” explains Teresa, adding that after that diagnosis, she had to be scanned weekly in UHG to monitor the situation.

The fluid didn’t go away and on Monday, October 6, at UHG, they were given the sad news that their little boy was dead. Eanna Eoghan, as they christened him, had “a condition that was not compatible with life”. That was also the day they were told he was a boy, they recall, as we meet in Burke’s Pub in Colemanstown, the base for a Féileacáin fundraiser this weekend.

The two describe the events of that day at UHG, praising the hospital staff for their care and kindness. They remember returning to their car and trying to compose themselves after hearing the news – their first thoughts were of their families.

Teresa’s niece Eabha, then aged nine, had been over the moon about the prospect of her new cousin, and Teresa was dreading how to tell the little girl. Then there was her own mother – Teresa’s father has Alzheimer’s – and Eanna’s parents, as well as their siblings.

Professor Morrison had advised them to return to Portiuncula for Eanna Eoghan’s delivery and at that stage, Teresa thought it would take place the following day, Tuesday.

It didn’t. On Tuesday at Portiuncula they were met by a midwife and pastoral care worker Niamh Brennan.

“They went through everything and suggested we wait until the following Monday,” explains Teresa. “That way I’d get a room on my own, with privacy and quietness.”

It might sound like an ordeal to continue being pregnant for a full week, knowing your baby was dead, but not so, she says.

“I was cherishing still having him.”

That week also helped them to get their heads around what lay ahead, although, says Eanna, “you are never prepared”.

For more, read this week’s Connacht Tribune.