Parenting advice from a few steps down the road

A Different View with Dave O’Connell

New parents out there will know this as both innately true and incredibly annoying; there are none so smug as those with a few years of childrearing behind them.

They’re lightning-quick to offer you advice on how to make the most of this job ahead, despite the fact that they’re really just a few steps down this road themselves.

Worst of all they may be in that oasis of calm when their children are big enough to talk to them but not big enough to tell them where to go with themselves.

So parental advice should be taken with a pinch of salt – and offered with a huge health warning.

The truth is that you’ll find your own way of rearing your children and it will be the right one – there is no manual or ‘one size fits all’.

That said, there are some unalienable truths which might just help a little along the way.

First off, don’t boast about your baby – no matter how others may feign interest in their rapid development/ability to talk/walk/play the violon, you’re the only one who cares that much.

Equally don’t worry if other kids walk or talk earlier than yours – chances are they have 80 or 90 years to catch up.

So by all means believe your child is a genius if you like but don’t tell everyone else – they think the same thing about theirs too.

You will become very familiar with the notion of competitive parenting – but try to keep it in check.

You will become equally familiar with competitive tiredness – mothers and fathers will fight as to who has slept for more than two hours in the previous 24.

Remember that babies get sick more than adults – particularly if you bounce them up and down after feeding them. They are not basketballs.

For precisely the same reason, don’t pick up your recently-sated baby for a goodbye hug before heading out for a job interview in your good suit.

And while we’re on food, don’t go to restaurants with toddlers. The best you can hope for is that they stay quiet long enough to bolt down your dinner – the worst is that you have your meal put into a takeaway container for reheating some considerable time later.

Don’t plan on watching TV at a certain time of the evening because kids have an inbuilt sensor to ensure that cannot happen – learn how to record, programme your Smart TV or sign up for Netflix.

As they develop out of nappies, they may love the same football team as you and they may not – there’s a better chance if you follow a big team of the moment rather than one from the distant past.

In many ways you can tell someone’s age by the team they support because it invariably will be the one that won the league in the first year or two their awareness was awakened.

For more, read this week’s Connacht Tribune.