Nothing in Ireland is ever merely a bit of a shame!

Double Vision with Charlie Adley

At last I thought I was able to use that most archaic of Irish expressions: “Shame on you!” However, I’m not sure how it works when there’s more than one entity to blame.

Part of this particular shame is deserved by the waste management company who decided to supply plastic bags to their customers in the country.

The other tranche of blame and shame has to go to the customers who then stuff all their garbage into these bags, leave them outside for the dogs to rip apart and then fail to clean up the mess.

I don’t know who you are, but I know an unhealthy amount about you. Clearly you live near me, because you left your garbage bags close to my house. Ever since the storms, your life’s detritus has been drifting down the bohreen, lacing itself around the hedges, dowsing itself in the mud and puddles as, like a glacier of filthy sludge, it makes its slow but inexorable journey to my garden.

I know what you eat. I know you like those fancy-shmancy crisps, and I know your favourite brand of yoghourt, what puddings you like and where you do your shopping. Unfortunately I also know which brand of disposable nappies you use, and I know the consistency of your baby’s turds.

How do I know all this?

I know this because when it became apparent that you were never going to clean up your mess, I did it myself.

Well, I cleaned most of it, up to the point where my own wheelie bin was crammed with your crap, my stomach churning, its contents gurgling and retching their way up to where they don’t belong.

So yes, I had to leave behind piles of your wretched rubbish, lying defiantly all over the ground as if it were sneering at me, teasing me with the absolute certainty that, as the wind blows, it too will ooze and squelch its way towards my home.

The remaining mess is still up there, and you can’t live far away, because it’s where you chose to leave your bags. You must see it every day.

Unless you are physically incapacitated and unable to clean it up, I say “Shame on you!”

For more, read this week’s Galway City Tribune.