My loo library can’t derail my cleaning

Double Vision with Charlie Adley

My eyes are dazzled by the sunshine flooding through my bedroom window.  This isn’t right.                                          No, not right at all.  Today I was meant to wake up and see lashing rain falling sideways from dark skies. The trees were supposed to be bending over in a gale, leaves green and brown ripped off branches, erupting up, tumbling down.

That’s what the weather app said, and the BBC, RTE and ah well, who cares?

Maybe today’s not going to be the day I finally clean my bathroom.

The outside world was going to look so menacing that I’d ripple a body shiver of comfort, turn on my bedside light and read my book eating a banana, luxuriating in the lack of rush.

Instead I’m now thinking of getting up, doing my stretches and going for a bike ride. Blue skies, fresh air and staying alive. That sort of thing.

No. This is neither about the weather nor my cardiovascular system. This about the state of my bathroom, and the months I’ve managed to ignore its deterioration.

Truth is ‘Bathroom’ might be too grand a term for it, as it has no bath and does not really qualify as a room.

If I stretch out my legs while sitting on the loo, my feet are in the shower.

If I bend forward, my head is in the washbasin.

Should I ever suffer the grave gastric indignity of ‘both ends burning’, I’ll be grateful that the lack of space in this house has inadvertently created a handy design feature.

Don’t be guilt-tripping me with all that ’What more could a man want?’

I’ve everything I’ll ever need, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss a bath.

To read Charlie’s column in full, please see this week’s Galway City Tribune.