Happiness the key to coping with modern life

Lifestyle –  Judy Murphy meets the women behind an initiative that aims to give parents the skills to rear well-balanced children

Listening, really listening is the most valuable gift a parent can ever bestow on a child – and it costs nothing, according to psychologists Arlene Naughten and Lorraine Lynch.

These two young women are on a mission to help Irish families become happier by teaching them how to cope with the pitfalls of modern society – issues such as lack of time, unemployment, financial worries and the increasing dominance of the internet.

Arlene, from Ballinasloe and Lorraine from Co Clare now living in Portumna, work as family psychologists and therapists, and despite their relative youth, they have a vast array of qualifications and experience between them.

This experience has taught them that, since the decline of the extended family, parents need advice and help with rearing their children.

“There is a lot of chronic anxiety, stress and depression out there,” says Lorraine, “and we wanted a guide so we could say to parents ‘there is something that can help, something you can read at your own pace’.”

The result is a book and upcoming website #100 Happy Days 4 Kids, based on last year’s #100HappyDays challenge on social media which encouraged people to become aware of things that made them happy, over a 100-day period.

Arlene and Lorraine say that giving parents the skills to rear children in a happy, safe environment can help prevent problems later in life.

“It’s like family therapy in disguise,” says Arlene, who is mother to four-year-old Cailín.

By giving parents 100 diverse activities to undertake with children –  from baking to laughing, to having random celebrations, to telling them how much you love them – the women promise that this book can have a real impact on children’s present and future happiness.

The book is written in an attractive, easy-to-read style, but it has an extensive bibliography at the back quoting a variety of academic sources which back up their claim that following these steps will lead to a happier family life,

The two women met when Lorraine joined the ISPCC in Galway as a volunteer and Arlene, who worked with the children’s support organisation, became her supervisor. Both share a passion for children’s rights, both are grafters and high achievers, and they decided to join forces on this project.

Both work for Sugru Therapy Service in Athlone, an organisation set up by Arlene, which offers a range of therapies for children and families in addition to parenting workshops.

A graduate of NUIG Arlene has several post-graduate Diplomas and Masters in the areas of psychology and therapeutic play, and is currently on the Doctoral programme at at Middlesex University in London. She lectures part-time with the Athlone Institute of Technology

Lorraine who is Head of Research with Sugru is currently studying for her PhD in the University of Limerick, where she is focusing on issues around Dyspraxia. Like Lorraine, she is a graduate of NUIG, and has also continued her studies, here in Ireland and abroad.

The women specialise in working with children and families across a range of issues – children who have problems can’t be treated in isolation, they say. They are lively, smart and fun, and it’s easy see how children would like and trust them.

“A lot of children are in a stressed environment at the moment,” says Arlene, adding that many kids today don’t have ‘down-time’.

If both parents are working, there is usually an early start in the morning, and children are often given iPads or tablets to entertain them. Then it’s straight to school and activities there. And so many children have extra-curricular activities that life is just one long whirlwind. Parents are so eager to do the best for their children that they can’t always see the wood for the trees.

But being a good parent isn’t all about sending children to drama and music lessons, to gymnastics or soccer. The book emphasises this.

For more, read this week’s Galway City Tribune.