Bullshit artists celebrate the birth of ‘the Intervention Footprint’

Intervention Footprint’. Just consider that term for a moment. Intervention Footprint.

Have a really good think about what it might mean. No, you’ve no idea?

Well somebody, somewhere, probably in the bowels of Government buildings, a ‘clever-clogs’ came up with this utterly meaningless phrase.

Some bullshit-artist, who is paid handsomely with taxpayers’ money, came up with this nonsense phrase.

No doubt other, lesser, not-so-clever bullshit-artists patted the Chief Bullshit-Artist (CBA) on the back, when he or she uttered the words ‘Intervention Footprint’, in a light-bulb moment of genius.

They probably all high-fived when the CBA gave birth to the latest weapon in Government spin. They probably even went for celebratory drinks afterwards. Although we suspect nerds who specialise in the bastardisation of the English language would be too square to enjoy social outings.

So what does it mean? It is a ‘nice’ way of saying that Ireland has crap broadband.

Now, you’re a sceptical bunch. So you’re probably thinking, how could ‘Intervention Footprint’ possibly have anything remotely to do with broadband coverage, or the lack of it?

But some PR guy in Dublin sent us a press release that confirmed it has.

“In all the Government has identified a total of 700,000 premises around the country . . . which either do not have access to high-speed broadband or are not covered by planned investment in high-speed broadband by commercial operators,” he said.

In brackets, the helpful PR guy added: “The Government call it the ‘Intervention Footprint’”. Bet they do.

You’ll notice Government does not refer to this problem as the ‘areas where 700,000 have crap broadband because of our serial lack of investment’.

Or for short, ‘broadband blackspots’, which might more accurately reflect the problem.

No, nauseatingly, they’re calling it the ‘intervention footprint’. Why are you surprised?

Sure what do you expect from the same PR gurus who renamed the Government department that deals with social welfare as the ‘Department of Social Protection’ during a time when Government slashed rather than protected social welfare payments?

In this week’s City Tribune  Dara also tells us:

* Thirsty councillors moan about Mayoral drought

* Lovely Lorraine eyes prize

* Green with envy over airtime

For more see  this week’s Galway City Tribune, download the Digital Edition here or get the Connacht Tribune app from iTunes or Google Play