Admitting you’re wrong is a sign of strength!

Double Vision with Charlie Adley

Friendships are formed around fault lines. Relationships emerge from ravines of failure and vulnerability. Of course it’s easy to like the person whose constant happiness seems supported by endless success, but will he or she be the one you turn to when you need help and support?

When someone first shares their worries or fears with you, they are throwing a line over the chasm. You catch it, and then by revealing your personal frailty or feeling of guilt, you throw another back.

Together you may then build a bridge, a friendship, and the canyon below will fill with mutual trust and empathy.

It’s all a bit of an eggshell dance, this trading of confidences. We could be more open and direct with each other, but this is the way life works. Given that we know exchanging our mistakes makes us appear less threatening and more likeable, why then do we fear being wrong?

If such an important part of our lives is governed by the understanding that we all make mistakes, why are we so eager to prove to ourselves and the universe that we don’t screw up?

We do experience joy: random and often fleeting moments when the soul lights up and everything makes sense, but for most of our lives we’re trying not to make mistakes, as we struggle with problems financial, physical or mental.

Human life is a messy plate of spag bol, so why would we waste a moment hoping that everything will go perfectly?

I’ve made so many mistakes in my life I’ve learned to appreciate them. Equally important as social tools for forming friendships, mistakes are the way we learn, if we want to.

When everything is going zippetty dippetty, you’re thinking in a two dimensional linear way about being blissed out. You learn only what that feels like.

To read Charlie’s column in full, please see this week’s Galway City Tribune.